Poor guy

This poor guy lost his mom.. So here's out new baby scooter

Day at the beach ...

Mine they have grown

They just keep growing

Been awhile

Wow it's been a while... So here I am again.. Let's see , I moved into my own place with the kids abd we keeping on. The boys are huge and funny and smart and loving. Lili is a great help and becoming quite the little lady . She and I are in a mother daughter
vacation !!! Cash regressed .. Hard and bad after the split. His behavior became dangerous for the twins. He is living with his dad now..
Each day gets better, I had an extremely hard time coming to terms with the fact that the family I wanted was in fact not the family I would have.
My inlaws have totally forget my children which is fine because I love my kids and they know they are loved.
Any one else addicted to pinterest ???
We are crafting , trying new foods, and living organized lol..

the state of affairs

he has been doing this for over 2 years. It makes me want to literally vomit to think about it. i have changed my focus from trying to repair our damaged marriage to making me a better person mentally and physically. I joined a gym with child care and go 90 minutes everyday. FOR ME. I make meals i want to eat, I go places i want to go, and i spend money on things i want to buy. Maybe one day ill forgive him but it will not be today. We are in the same house at the moment. We are trying to figure this out. Hopefully things he will change for the better. But thats fine it not..

hardest post ive even written

he cheated on me. all this tension and arguing and me feeling like i was going crazy was because he was hiding this from me. it hurts so bad. i am not sure the reasons and we are setting up marriage counseling now but it is most likely too late. i wanna scream, i want to kill him, i want to cut his face, i want to do everything mean that i can. But that wont change it. he says its over and it'll never happen again and he is sorry. But i don't know if hes sorry or not. Maybe he is just sorry he got caught. I am sure i wasnt giving him to love and support he needed but that gives him no right to go outside the marriage you know? I cannot fucking stand that he makes me question myself because of his shortfalls. I am a beautiful, smart, giving, caring woman and i need someone who can keep his dick where it belongs.
Anyways i am here in our home and just thinking of how stupid he is. and questioning everything. This cannot be healing for me.

ppd

my PPD has taken hold and life sucks right now.. its a fight to get out of bed. then its a fight to get off the couch and its a fight to make dinner and play with the twins or go outside. this is TERRIBLE. i am on anti depressants but hell this sucks.. i have a short fuse now... everything is so messed up... ugh.