I am many things..a wife. a foster mom.a daughter.sister to an angel.proud aunt.infertile.vegetarian. friend.American.photographer.lover of life. I am proud of the positive impact i have made in the life of the children who have come into my home and life I am proud that my husband serves this country. I am blessed with the best friends on Earth.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
crushed more than words
Our 5th IUI failed... i have no idea what my next step will be... another IUI... or saving for IVF... i just dont know.. i love being a foster mother but i deserve a baby of my own.... WHEN IS IT MY TURN? TRUELY... in the past 6 year i have had 3 miscarriages , sent my husband to Iraq 2 times, Buried My kid Brother, My Godfather and one year ago today, i lost my grandfather. I have been shut out by most of my family over a custody battle over 2 kids that my husband and i took in when no one else in the family wanted them but when we had to relocate due to my husband s job everyone wanted them again...AFTER 12 months of no contact...
I honest feel i have been short changed by life. i dont know who makes it so that people who cant take care of kids get to have them and I (a woman who takes care of other peoples children who cant) cannot have children...
I am about to be 30... i married when i was 23 years old.... i married a man i love and love more today then when i married him... he is my rock and a wonderful father to our foster children. he is a true hero ... and he hurts that we cant have children and i fear i am not good enough for him because i am infertile...
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1 comment:
I just want to give you a big hug. I know it's hard, so very hard. I'm thinking about you.
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