Thursday, July 7, 2011

hardest post ive even written

he cheated on me. all this tension and arguing and me feeling like i was going crazy was because he was hiding this from me. it hurts so bad. i am not sure the reasons and we are setting up marriage counseling now but it is most likely too late. i wanna scream, i want to kill him, i want to cut his face, i want to do everything mean that i can. But that wont change it. he says its over and it'll never happen again and he is sorry. But i don't know if hes sorry or not. Maybe he is just sorry he got caught. I am sure i wasnt giving him to love and support he needed but that gives him no right to go outside the marriage you know? I cannot fucking stand that he makes me question myself because of his shortfalls. I am a beautiful, smart, giving, caring woman and i need someone who can keep his dick where it belongs.
Anyways i am here in our home and just thinking of how stupid he is. and questioning everything. This cannot be healing for me.


cyberrblue said...

Hugs. No one deserves that. Lots of love, you know we are all here to support you.

Mothering4Money said...

I am sorry. I am so so sorry.

You are right, you are a beautiful wonderful person and he should have realized what he had before he messed it up.

I'll keep you in my thoughts. I'm always here if you want to talk. Email me and I can send you my phone number Mothering4Money [at] hotmail (dot) com.